just a moment

So I'm just gonna rant for a sec...

 
      Time to time things come up. I deal with whatever head on. I don't like debris lingering.  Its funny though, one minute I can say it doesn't really matter. Then on my soul, it weights me down.

"When your soul is uneasy, you try to settle it with little things..."

   Sometimes I sleep late, not wanting to think and analyze anything. Sometimes I cant sleep, emptiness kinda creates an echo. When your soul is uneasy, you try to settle it with little things. I like Reese's, cheesecake, and cake(sweets) in general. Its not funny. I don't know. I find comfort in that. A moment to laugh, to sing, to dance, to dream, to breathe, to try to love... again. Either way, there's work to do, and I don't have time for this.

title it you

I always felt like I was missing something. I can be a little impatient but Id always wondered whats next or how long. As a kid, they tell your age, let you know the life expectancy and expect you to fulfill it with "dignity" and "success". So I always felt the time ticking. Its always up a stream rather with the flow, not in the sense of hardship but understanding.

Some can pick a title and follow it, others search and wonder while many fall into a fix by force. Have you ever thought, whats life as an animal? There purpose and mental anguish figuring it out? Its funny, cause we divide and title everything to the T.They roam here bound by the forces of nature and the hereditary tendency of their ancestors. I could sit here and tell you life means nothing or ask why are we here and go back and forth on religion and society. I'm not. See it how you feel, feel and wonder.


I feel, as if I'm fulfilling temporary fixes. Like the seasons change, or high and low we go...all the way to the end..."Cant let just anybody hold me". I guess I shouldn't say too much, or "they" might send a pretty little rock down my throat.

I just read this and said, "Its like sharing with a wall..." guess its better that way. shh.

Smile

That's not a smile. 

That's you holding it together like a damn ready to flow. 

Your eyes glowing in hope for yesterdays promises. 

Body aching for rest, cause every time you lay your head your mind is always wondering. 

Emotions becoming numb to the world around you, knowing its ever so familiar face.

I said smile, yet you cant wondering how long it would last.

panic

I wonder if I vacuumed all the air away. What would they do? Staring at each other in fear. Of course they'd run around scrambling. Some would attempt to save them selves, others would try to help the children. Selfish to think some wouldn't give a hand, trying to stay calm for example. In the mist of ciaos you wouldn't think that just maybe, it was only for moment. A moment that came, feared, and went. Only to see, air never left, yet your mind told you other wise.



Your emotions are one thing, your mind is another. Your mind follows the reality it surrounds it self with. Your emotions on the other hand, follows what your mind cant comprehend. Your mind would tell you by analyzing, experience or lack of. Your emotions would guide you with what fulfills your intuition. Not as black and white, but to show you a picture it can compare. Starring around, some at loss of explanation and others gone by panic. Relax. Breath again. There you go. You panicked.

Windows

It rushes threw my veins, this quick blast of energy of hope, strength, and ideas. This comfort that things will be fine. How doubtful we become in the rain, forgetting how quickly the sun shines through. In the years, we look back and wonder, how, and how quickly. I look forward now and shiver in coldness. Light gleams though, a warm feeling of knowing. I seek yet truly know nothing I seek for. In my mind I'm clear, on my lips I gear confusion, and in my walk I steer in blindness. That's OK, I fear nothing I don't know cause I don't know anything. Free. Free. Free. My heart is heavy at times though, my mind in a different world, alone. That's OK too. The energies humans shift into, they intrigue me.