Silence

It's all you can sense 

When the world's stench no longer holds power

Light over taken by clouds

Sounds afar no longer relevant 

Nutrients less then stimulating 

Burns unnoticeable  

You smell nothing, see nothing, hear nothing, taste nothing, feel nothing. 

But a there's a echoing light you feel burning inside.

The only similar scent of self. 

I'm trying... 

Pure

I found myself in a galaxy far from home. Drawn by the light, I found myself close to its star. Solar flares damaging, I thought even my own couldn't bare. With time, the stars flares calmed. It seemed as though the planets them selves were fairly young only for me to conclude so was the galaxy.

"Imagine every single spirit as a galaxy, exploring unknown stars (hearts) and satellites. The things you'd see."

I found myself hurt the star I cherish most. One thousand kisses from my heart to yours. Some debris might take time to leave orbit, but the next time we catch eyes just feel my light.

Three inches of an ocean

They say: Keep away, please, I beg of you. I ask not to share my inner depths. 


Je traiterai avec moi-meme de façon appropriee.


"A terrible day. We say it all the time; a fight with a boss,the stomach flu,  traffic. That's what we describe as terrible, when nothing terrible is happening
It all seems quaint now, doesn't it? The flood in the kitchen, the poison oak, the fight that leaves you shaken with rage.
Would it of helped if we could see what else was coming? Would we have known that those would be the best moments of our lives?"

A class act ends alone. And I'm sealing every edge, every single day. And it all on me. 

asseoir avec moi

   Mother would force us to eat dinner together, we'd always rush and leave. Father would of course lead the way.   Lady if you could force us one more time. I can imagine how her heart would flutter in sadness. Sitting here in bed eating by myself wondering: if I go tomorrow, I wouldn't be surrounded by anyone.

"A feeling of empty spaces and soulful symphonies drawn by the divine chaos by day, and the cosmic moon by night." -Mahad 

   One might think of it as an absolute harsh statement, yet it seems... I cant say. My resiliency is allowing detachment become stronger, bitter sweet non the less. A feeling of empty spaces and soulful symphonies drawn by the divine chaos by day, and the cosmic moon by night.  There's a light, the hopeful being that I am. All I can give is another kiss from my lips to the universe, in hopes you can feel.

frequency #8776625

I wonder, what creature can best describe this spirit? A darkness, a light, a strength like no other. 

Is it even the creature... aut magis.

Child within

So easy to blame others, picking at every flaw in this rat race. Fulfilling voids with materialism, and false relations. In these "needs" you fall empty, every single time. Humans are the only creatures that can deceive others, while also deceiving themselves. Falling empty in their own fictitious world. The question is, what in the past has caused you trauma, wither big or small, to place you in this position?  How is it that one can continue to repeat the cycle, without ever wonder how to get out? Running in circles, deeper and deeper into the hole.

''The question is, what in the past has caused you trauma, wither big or small, to place you in this position?''

We now try to focus on fulfilling the matrix. Success isn't having a sense of social leverage or having others envious. Yet we hide behind that, falling again empty. Playing roles in our minds, assuming we're "going somewhere". There are desires to change the world, and share the beauty of this cosmic. There are wishes to end the cries and hate. There a dreams, of escape, and wonder, the beauty in that is something to experience, never to tame. No title or silly salary can ever fulfill.  Well if we do live in our imaginations, then the hole its self represents our minds, and the idea of getting out... is releasing it. There are so many ways to release it, and it starts with self. Free yourself, and unplug. Easier said then done. I wish light and love to all. Its in you. You can muffle the cries of the child within, though wouldn't be easier... to listen.

https://www.opendrive.com/files?33183388_QUErp

Transcend

Why do we fight against everything in us? If you truly know of this world, why wouldn’t one follow thy heart? Why lay in contradictions? Why falsely try to justify. Why try to erase one, by fornicating others? Where is it in our spiritual beings to hate, run, and fall empty so easy? It all channels from our surroundings. I pray, and in this I hope to tap into a light in me for you to see. I pray that you too tap into yourself, and allow that light to shine. Nothing in this matrix can hold down that. Their is so much to say, but I hope in my silence you embrace and transcend.

born to

   Looking out to the sky, it seems how I feel, and what I receive contradict. In my way of life, giving is unconditional. Though some of our ways and laws of lies we've picked up in this world can get tiresome, I've always kept a strong sense of patiences, in the name of love. I look up with a deep breathe, and live on hope. This world, this divine chaos. My pose, my strength, my fire, it's all from everything around me. What I desire, what I turn away from, it's from the experiences I've endured. Forward to a more minimalist lifestyle. Though at times it can be enlightening, it can become dark. Let everything fall. Let darkness cover all. I love you, and you love me. This, this will always be our light when everything around us falls. 

Og M.

“Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find ''tomorrow'' on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, ''If I had my life to live over again. ''Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day! Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” -

Og Mandino

one minute it's open, the next...

You meet people from all over. Like windows, some bring in sunshine, some bring in cool air, and others bring in debris. In this case, you have the ability to close that window.

Person(ality) #1368946673

  You come to a point of not understanding human behavior, but tolerating in a sense of keeping ones sanity. Like dust: it's there yet you continue to breathe. When dust bunnies begin to stroll the oak you cherish, you bust them. All the tricks you carry, and ways that vary. Doesn't one ever think it could ultimately hold you back from the? The desires you would run from, turning your back at others to feel a since of higher "social leverage."

  It's funny, the playground never disappears. We live in our imaginations, cause every thought and self asked question appears to our own visual minds, yes? I wonder if you visualize being selfish, arrogant, pretentious, dishonest, and ultimately... wondering who you really are?

disassembled

    I disassembled that white picket fence today. 

Placed it in the box ever so neatly. 

Planted some beautiful red and white roses. 

They said, I shouldn't plant roses so far from the garden, 

but I wanted everyone to see them. 

So I disassembled the fence, 

all of them staring at me, and I planted the roses right there. 

At first I thought folks would step on them and pick them. 

Then I thought, they live so short, so why not share that little joy. 

I disassembled that white picket fence today, and planted me some roses. 

Weekend

The human body will sooner, or later let you down. Its the spirit who thrives. Question is, can it gleam beyond what our bodies claim? So many triggers of anger, or fear. So many comparatives, and visual lies.  So many moments of references of yesterday, and claims for tomorrow. I caught myself yearning for the weekend to arrive. There are only 52 weekends in a year. Like everyone of them, they seem so far away, yet are so short. "Life", sometimes I wish I didn't push so many away. Then I remember, the human body will sooner or later let you down. So I cherish the spirits who thrive... bittersweet.

couches

How many dimensions can we create to hold secrets. Layered by time, a sense of reality is challenged. With an unconscious breath, one look and defense are alerted. How many lies can we create to hold up dimensions.

Anniversary

    One year ago today, I started this blog. Since then I've met many new acquaintances, amazing writers, and gotten some helpful feedback. Through it all, I shared bits and pieces of myself, seeing what others would say. I said from the beginning, I would stay genuine to myself, and would never post anything generic for numbers.

    My vision was to bring the outter perspective of our inner emotions. The way we see storms from the outside. I don't know what the "future" holds, but now more then ever I am more willing to explore it.

"How quickly the storms come and go"

“You are not a human being in search of a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being immersed in a human experience.”- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin



“Love is the affinity which links and draws together the elements of the world... Love, in fact, is the agent of universal synthesis.” -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin


“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” -Norman Cousins

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” -Maya Angelou

These quotes alone have opened anew. Thank you all so much. 

link

 

"Can an electric platform solve the emptiness on a human platform, or is it just a static existence?"

O zero one hundred

 

   A complete space of nothing. Time here doesn't exist, nor do the social standings we preconceived in our imaginations. I may seem repetitive, though when we close our electronic devices, we in body the lie as whole. This rhythmical sense of being can push you away from embracing something so organic, so pure. Its like giving a kid a fruit salad when all he eats and loves is fast food. Nothing can never be forced, one can only seek beyond their surroundings. You've seen light, but have you felt sun light? You've heard music, but have you cried listening to a ballad? You've kissed, but have you embraced someones spirit within those mere moments? You've seen plenty of images, but can you see beyond those lines? Let go.

Art Credit: Ranak

within it

...and how many can I put up, to keep you out.Vividly a collection of strain and vanity.

Cosmic

Potent in our nature, to feed our selfish hunger, 

whether it be our stomachs, emotions, or our survival. 

Love? Please. We the higher species know, 

yet walk blinded in comfort. 

Where am I suppose find your "love" in that? 

Feel your "touch" in that? Guess you just play along for sanity. 

Fuck your world. 

Then we fringe at the sounds of colorful verbs that challenge that very matrix. 

Like a prostitute hears religion. 

We search in comfort. Lay in the cosmic. 

To every child, may you forever be. 

while I'm here...

     While others are trying to fit in, mold their self image and up hold this lie of life. While others try to find the fits and the material to manage to take away the attention from the sorrow of their eyes. While others try to hide in their walls of material founded in the deaths of others sweat to eat. While others drown themselves in manipulation, mind, body, and soul....

   I'm here in search. Knowing, the search it self is the escape from it all. This, what we think isn't our existence. How I'd throw it all away, the anger, the pride, everything. Just for a moment.... just while I'm here. I guess like soldiers, we fight in...with no explanation given.

just a moment

So I'm just gonna rant for a sec...

 
      Time to time things come up. I deal with whatever head on. I don't like debris lingering.  Its funny though, one minute I can say it doesn't really matter. Then on my soul, it weights me down.

"When your soul is uneasy, you try to settle it with little things..."

   Sometimes I sleep late, not wanting to think and analyze anything. Sometimes I cant sleep, emptiness kinda creates an echo. When your soul is uneasy, you try to settle it with little things. I like Reese's, cheesecake, and cake(sweets) in general. Its not funny. I don't know. I find comfort in that. A moment to laugh, to sing, to dance, to dream, to breathe, to try to love... again. Either way, there's work to do, and I don't have time for this.

cleanse

Art Credit: ketchup-suicide.

Something about bathing. Strange right?

The act of cleansing consists of removing impurities. 

I love the water, the warmth, the smells...sounds familiar.

I find myself holding on to a lot. 

I didn't ask to. Nor do I practice. 

You just look around time to time and see familiar pieces and wonder.

Why are you here?

Maybe my aura consists of something?
I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm not.
My genuine affection and care has been diluted by societies inner exchange of false visuals.
I rid of the aroma daily, watching it all drain.

Still in my heart I feel... 

nightmares

I had a nightmare. I was in control. I was me.

daft punk

The remaining robot continues to walk but eventually also gives up. He falls to his knees and tries to reach the buttons on his own back, but to no avail. Instead, he removes his helmet and reveals a printed circuit board face. He repeatedly slams the helmet onto the ground until it is shattered. Using one of the shards as a burning-glass, he focuses the sunlight to set his hand ablaze. The film ends showing the robot, completely on fire, walking in slow motion through darkness.

uub

They come to you in their despair. 

Slowly expanding their comfort zone

Know well what comes and tells.

Sweet moments they bring... notice how they sing.

A spell yet never what you mean

False connectivity  (Loud they speak, humble they seek)

Pointing the hands they held when (renditions come again)

Specially designed for the retarded...excuse me, now I'm the cold hearted.

Come closer... my image seemingly doesn't gleam strong enough.

The naivety drowned by the hesitant ways.

If it aint thrust thrust another head to the rush

it simply isn't anything but false connectivity. 

Save a breath, and a numerical exchange

save an "i" and an "e"

already know how ub

a thousand butterflies

When I depart this world. I hope to leave it better then I came. Hope is the one thing we carry that makes us dynamic in the universe. Challenging the inevitable. When I go, I wont be remembered long. Darling not even you. I wish a thousand butterflies from my lips to you. Battling tears, a fight one rather embrace, yet hope....we continue to hope.

This system

Those before us, civilized humanity. Creating this system we now call "life".
See money, education, they go hand to hand. Designed to bound humanity to purpose.
Its a system, creating the term "Survival of the fittest." A game if you will.

"Guess not everyone's designed to breach those walls"

Some tools are natural and others are gained. We're no more then an ant hill. Never questioning, repeating in new lights. Its crazy how we follow the masses yet live in our own little worlds. Then again what do I know. Governments and monarchies alike control the people. It has its pros and cons. Then that puts me in a different thought. If we know of the matrix, those who couldn't handle it...what would they, "the people" do? Guess not everyone's designed to breach those walls.

You ever wonder how movie plots come about? Maybe we're getting bits and pieces from the future. Look at "Superman" and how hes planet was destroyed. How is it we can create these stories yet can't learn from them? As technology grows, our self thought becomes weaker.

This system...our self destruction. Who'll save us?

waited and hated and faded

For the longest, I felt the need to be loved. Though in this need, I tried to find myself. I believed I needed to be loved in order to be complete. I needed someone to love me so I knew that guy in the mirror was someone. I needed to be loved, so I could love me. I was afraid walking this planet by myself. No more.

"the idea of "love" is beautiful."

 At this point in life, I don't believe in marriage, relationships of any kind. I do cherish the genuine essence of a connection with someone. Nothing is forever, but the idea of "love" is beautiful. Like any idea, its man made. I read somewhere "construit pour être seul." Means "built to be alone." Destiny is made by decisions made in the present, I just decided.

Many wont agree, "love heals all" or "love will come" or my favorite, "your crazy." That's fine. "I see and hear everything and still smile...yet Im no god"

Many many moons

Actions of course speak louder then words. Simplistic jesters leave more powerful messages.
Seen all times, highs and lows. Taken the light and tough blows. Might try to rock me yet I know this dance all too well. Might add a new step but venture a bet, there's never regret. Silly, this number wont last long.

No need for anger, dismiss them all. No need for words, cold shoulders from vixens to fix them.
Remember now, we might share the same planet, but this moon here...no access granted.The distance, it aint gonna hurt me, the cold, it aint gonna erk me.

Think of it this way, if this moon comes down, I'll be crushing into you. The damages...catastrophic.

-Mahad
Je devais être seul

wet walk

Quiet nights make Johny a simple guy. Walked in the rain, dark streets and random sounds. It felt good... warm...

defeat

As a kid I hated the dark...not knowing what would come out within it...its strange cause now I feel comfort in it. Black is my favorite.

I began in a box, and little by little breaking down walls and discovering, confirming, and reconsidering. Times where I'd isolate, finding comfort in it...knowing only I will know all about me. Times where these walls put strain in my communication...where I felt I couldn't connect...skeptical in so many ways.Times when I'd reach out, knowing I wouldn't get an answer. Times where mirrors had there colorful adjectives... "these nights are haunting me, I don't wanna run..." I just want to leave.

"Splash a little color, give me something to believe" put on a song, and just breathe.

Our spirits feed on our imagination...how quickly in our heads can we feel "defeated" when in reality...nothing is set in stone. One wall down...


Art Credit: by Ketchup Suicide

title it you

I always felt like I was missing something. I can be a little impatient but Id always wondered whats next or how long. As a kid, they tell your age, let you know the life expectancy and expect you to fulfill it with "dignity" and "success". So I always felt the time ticking. Its always up a stream rather with the flow, not in the sense of hardship but understanding.

Some can pick a title and follow it, others search and wonder while many fall into a fix by force. Have you ever thought, whats life as an animal? There purpose and mental anguish figuring it out? Its funny, cause we divide and title everything to the T.They roam here bound by the forces of nature and the hereditary tendency of their ancestors. I could sit here and tell you life means nothing or ask why are we here and go back and forth on religion and society. I'm not. See it how you feel, feel and wonder.


I feel, as if I'm fulfilling temporary fixes. Like the seasons change, or high and low we go...all the way to the end..."Cant let just anybody hold me". I guess I shouldn't say too much, or "they" might send a pretty little rock down my throat.

I just read this and said, "Its like sharing with a wall..." guess its better that way. shh.

Wake up

*ALARM*

Are you bound by your geographic boundaries, man made by man's "belief"? These "words" these "lines" we created, can be destroyed.

Take control, today.

Smile

That's not a smile. 

That's you holding it together like a damn ready to flow. 

Your eyes glowing in hope for yesterdays promises. 

Body aching for rest, cause every time you lay your head your mind is always wondering. 

Emotions becoming numb to the world around you, knowing its ever so familiar face.

I said smile, yet you cant wondering how long it would last.

Durand's Song

Its strange, when you ask someone "How are you?" and they respond, "I'm well." What has been written on ones soul, you'll never now.

Everyone has a story. With 7 billion souls roaming this planet, one can only imagine what our neighbors, brothers, and sister go though. Within this diluted society of love and hate, lies and yesterdays thoughts...we continue to grow, continue to thrive.



The first poem "Remix to a lullabi" was read by: Durand Bernarr http://www.youtube.com/Alcoholharmony
The second poem "Durand's Song" was read by: Akeem Rollins

"You are not defined by your past, yet how you proceed."

I proceed to thrive, no matter if I know why I'm here or not.

So I thought...thought wrong

Its strange.
I had such a pretty feeling, then stopped.

These days long as they are, and short as they may seem.
Filled with so ons and what nots.

But I promised I, and said a small prayer...
Lights of another time come through, and hours of only short beats all on you.

With your short comings and half baked. Then again time doesn't exist.

Im walking in circles... I'm angry now... I giggle now...
Its just my imagination.

You knew better... so I thought...thought wrong.

M.O.V.E.

Such a beautiful dance.

We know nothing of it.

Up in the moons with me... down under the angry sea.

Such a beatiful picture.

The lights, the smells... the feels.

I hear the music... tears are moving but my dance doesnt care.

Move. Move. M.O.V.E.

My Enfuis (1)

Enfuis


This cigarette burns like my soul.

The more I draw on it...

The more it goes.

They say it glows,

Atleast.... that's what I'm told.

They tell me to just hold on,

And I can make it through.

So, I put it in my palm.

Another lie just to make me burn

Another lie just to make me hurt

Another lie just to make me yearn.

... Now I need another one

Just so I can live...

Another lie

Another cig

By: M. Renelaurent



________




Melodic Inspirations


Music makes me feel as if my soul could speak
Just an utter whisper could even make my knees go weak
Vibe'n to a wordless song, spirit crying to the beat
Wholeness is the only feeling that I ought to seek
Passion ain't even the word I could use to describe
The feelings that seep out and the emotion I feel inside
A melodic inspiration makes me want to cry
I just let the tears flow, doesn't hurt my pride
Let 'em drop down my face cuz I cannot hide
How the melody and my spirit always seem to align
That amazing feeling deep down within my soul
To make it and music become one is my goal.


By: Chanell Higgins


Special thank yous to M. Renelaurent and Chanell Higgins. <3

Lets Enfuis(Escape)

Something on your mind? Question? A Poem? Just wanna vent? Email Enfuis@Gmail.com Anything and everything. Anonymously or credited. I'll post here... it better be good =)

-Mahad(Enfuis)

tag #99489348284739893489

No need for pitty moments and sick lies you see.
Cause I dont believe.

The "goals" are nothing but false cheese to a rat. Images Images.

No no, all is well. No need to share, no need to glare.

Racing for titles... yet we all end up with tags... "Body #9924878402023217874"

Your touch is cold you see
No need for false connections
Cause I dont believe....

tell me

What was that song you sang... come here and sing it again.

So pretty of you to hold that note... now lie to me again.

If its just for a second. Its ok.

just wait

... I cant even hold on to a little joy.

Lay your head

I'm not intrigued by my surroundings. Cardboard manifested surroundings. I'm enlightened everyday of the reality. So I now know why they do as they do. I dont want to be apart of it... nor do I want to drift away. "Will it ever cloy, this odd diversity of misery and joy"



So we find what we can to seek comfort. Lay your head. Cause it all means nothing... at all.

I'm waiting

and I'm only waiting for you...



maybe if I drown my ears here... there wont be space to think

in a moment

Its only a desire...
now burned by yesterdays fire.

Run for an illusion of a together.

Suppose you held on to moments and part time bliss... what do you remember?
I knew but whats the difference between today and tomorrow... you'll part soon.
Cut the cord cause theres to much confussion, drown this. Wired.

You feed me... you feed me but I know its not true. I held it though...

...its just a moment, it'll pass.

hold please

Credit: Stormfield



*dial tone
*
*
*

Access Granted

ID please.

Flawless Image, flawless demeanor... error error.


Sweet of you not to be all up tight, easy of you to just say "alright"
The signs are in the cup and the tea is brewing.
Before we go any further, look at me and give me eyes... perform bitch... lies lies lies. How I like yo style.

First tell me everything I need to hear, confirm yesterdays conversation without fear.
Give me language only the eye can tip, give me false hope so this tree can't get a grip.
I bet yo mouth aint as bullet proof as those feet, since you can dance in and out this street.

If I was any less Id bring you down, wear you out but no. No I say better. I commend your flawless image, but in time someones gonna ask for your ID. Closer and closer, in evaluation. Access Denied.

Follow me.

rise...

To the people of Haiti, words can't describe the emotions of such a horrific event.
I wish love, strength and prosperity. Rise. To those who have passed, "together again" we will be. To those here, we begin again.

I'm no human at all

"Beauty in the breakdown." Its the thought of "We come alone, we go alone" registered so finely within me. It slowly becomes more and more real. The touch of someone else being comforting but... just part-time bliss.

How can someone open up, touch you, speak in a way... and mean nothing at all.

Of course the excuse is "we're human" well then I'm no human. I'm no human at all.





Its just silly of me you know. So I close the door.

remote

Seem so far. Lights beaming, yet unknown.

How visible we are, yet so distant we become. Flaws of the human mind, being so close and being so blind. "Screaming to the hills, not one sound"

Staring at you, you seem so remote.

21st street

I woke up funny. I woke up before the alarm.



Its Tuesday. Nothing special, nothing new. In this man made system of time, I was encountered to the reminder of "time" being lost. I said years ago I'd be, and now see. lol Feel kinda funny, like I'm floating around. I feel empty, but I'm not suppose to share that part. That part is between me, myself, and I. That's what the cake is for, to stuff your self. "Welcome to 21st Street, how can we direct you?"

1/12/1989
P.S. R3

get him

Siting here. I've gotten comfortable. I have a need, yet I ignore it not wanting to be bothered. Who likes going through bull, then again how can you avoid it in this thing they call "life". I'm gonna make a move. *Glass shattering* I'll get a few scars and bruises along the way, nothing I cant handle. *Alarms screams* I'll probably run into the wrong turn, and the wrong person, nothing I cant handle. I'll even try to stop myself, but I'll break through. "Hold the elevator please" I gotta run though, maybe I'll catch you around. *Security* "Get him"

one by one

In an earlier encounter, I found myself staring into the eyes of a bold face lie. Yup, in the work place. I understand, these folks mean shit to me, but for a professional to have to speak in such a matter. Disgusting. Tell me, does being a bitch ass make your world seem worth it?



Why do humans feel like they need to create this facade. Seems like you speak of one thing and act another. Seems like this fictitious world corrupted you, now you strive to live an image. I'd rip that picture into pieces. Falling for lights, falling for the words. Falling for the ridiculous man mad reality. Did you think this was about you? What did she say, "Everything you touch will fall" one by one.


come as you are.

how far again

They said by this age I should of been this. They said at this time I'd be there. I just said no.

In this thing called time, we are limited. True, though we may feel "free", are we? I wont go there, not now anyways. I'm not following what another human being said needs to be. Yes at this time, I "feel" liberated. hmm I love how the human psyche can struggle with your "emotions". Patterns, structures, and repetitive natures begin to be recognized as reality, rather then common activity. Never questioned, just consumed as is.

"Are you telling me they lied to me??"
So much power, yet we just sleep. Fear, anger, hate, I digress.
We question so much within, yet never speak out loud. How far will that take you?

Take your damn time, yet live as if its the last... how far again?

Happy new days

Who really knows how old the Earth truly is. Of course we just follow what is massively produced and accepted. 2010? it could be 9,780,092



Happy new year. Though happiness is pursued never obtained, a moment makes all the difference. Time flies so fast. Whatever it is.

when I grow up

Unexplainable. Nothing of course can be said. All one can say is, "You'll be OK." Images burned in our minds. Smiles, scents, and common words. Feels cold inside. Sure in time you'll forget, and wont wonder much about it. You'll have moments you wont come out of bed. How much can one body take? A breath, and a feeling of hope. I'll take two please. Anything to take this off me.
Funny how a child's spirit can bring light in.

"Where we going? Come here with me, tell me we'll stay forever. Tell me you'll never go."

Forever Rest. In. Peace.

if I could reach

Its 5AM in the morning. Sitting here wondering. Its like pouring a pitcher, and every time you say you wont, you give a little more then you should. Maybe if I hush, maybe if I speak. Maybe if I pretend, then authentic would be bliss. I'm becoming numb each and every time. All I see are cats lol me and bloody cats. If I could just read your mind, one good time.

its draining. if I could just be.

a house is not a home

I was listening to Luther Vandross's "A House Is Not A Home" this morning to work. I wondered if I could get work where I'm constantly traveling. That way I could never get attached to anything. Not one single soul, or materiel. Is it possible? Am I really. How though? ("Its driving me crazy")as he said. Even in the dark, you find what you cant explain. ("Well well well well") Its me. Its me. Its me. You can turn the heat up all you want, I feel cold inside. I hate defrosting the car in the morning.

blank stares

I thought about something. I remembered quickly though. I can't share everything. Some wont understand. Either way its just me myself and I. Its cool though. No worries.

panic

I wonder if I vacuumed all the air away. What would they do? Staring at each other in fear. Of course they'd run around scrambling. Some would attempt to save them selves, others would try to help the children. Selfish to think some wouldn't give a hand, trying to stay calm for example. In the mist of ciaos you wouldn't think that just maybe, it was only for moment. A moment that came, feared, and went. Only to see, air never left, yet your mind told you other wise.



Your emotions are one thing, your mind is another. Your mind follows the reality it surrounds it self with. Your emotions on the other hand, follows what your mind cant comprehend. Your mind would tell you by analyzing, experience or lack of. Your emotions would guide you with what fulfills your intuition. Not as black and white, but to show you a picture it can compare. Starring around, some at loss of explanation and others gone by panic. Relax. Breath again. There you go. You panicked.